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                FLOODS OF PROTEST?


Boston, MA, March 31, 2004:  "The great state of Massachusetts is trying to cur-tail the liberties of all," Brigadier Henry Fronterra III remarked to the sold-out crowd at a fund raiser here last night.  Gay Dalmatians, standard poodles, great Danes and mixed breeds looked somber as they listened to his chilling comments about the spread of Big Daddy, and loss of personal freedoms in the wake of legislative approval to amend the State Constitution to prohibit gay NIPtuals. 


Though in-state gay couples have won the right to wed for the next two years, when the proposed ban is up for re-voting and enactment, couples from all over the country who have been planning to legalize their bow vows as soon as the doors legally reopen in May face another hurdle.  An odd early 20th century state statute is being interpreted as forbidding officials to marry those from states that do not accept same sex marriages as legal.


Many heads nodded vigorously as the Brigadier, a commanding Great Dane himself, came to his main point. "We need to get out into the streets and fight these restrictions!  Why should an arcane statute count in today's world?  Why should out-of-staters be treated any differently than we are?  And what of the threat hanging over our own heads in 2005-2006? Meet me tomorrow morning to protest!  We'll be assembling in front of the Ritz Carlton Hotel at 9:00 a.m. sharp!  From there we will walk to the Commons, leaving our marks wherever we can. Remember, drink up tonight!  And tomorrow morning, lap up as much as you can. We will have St. Bernards with casks of fresh water around their necks placed strategically along our route as well."


When the Brigadier asked who would support him at the end of his speech, the roof practically came off the room.  Never were so many woofs expressed at one time, so loudly and for so long.


Similar reports are coming in from California, New Jersey and even Utah, where the opportunity to wed gaily hasn't come into the realm of possibility at all yet. 


We will be keeping a close eye on the resistance.  And we urge you to keep us apprised of any happenings in your neck of the woods.


Many thanks,

FUPPPS Editorial Board


Please take a moment to participate in our continuing poll on whether Caesar, the 26 year old childless gorilla, should be allowed to wed his new male companion (click here to read the March 27 FUPPPS editorial for the whole story):

I agree.  Let Caesar wed the boy!


I disagree! Boy apes should marry girls only!


I'm not sure what's right for humans, let alone gorillas.

                My City                       My State



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