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MA, March 11, 2004:  Our roving reporter, Peter da Woof, has just wired in his report from a number of cities in this ground-breaking state:


Folks, you could cut the tension all over Massachusetts with a fast tail. Litter-ally millions of cats, dogs and squirrels have been howling in protest against the proposed amendment to the State's Constitution that would  ban same sex NIPtuals. 


As one distressed young beagle, George Petrie, put it, "I can't believe the citizens of our progressive state would support this amendment.  It's downright anti-pup in every sense.  Why, my little taquito, Carmelita Chihuahua and I would never be happy if we had to annul our recent bow vows.  Her sweet face just shone as I lifted her veil to bestow the official nuzzle." 


Squirrels have been running up every tree they can still find, hanging banners proclaiming, "Keep same sex NIPtuals afoot!"


Out of the dozens of protesters I've interviewed, all plan to sign the FUPPPS pet-ition as soon as they get back to their computers.  And a few with wireless connections have already put their paws where their mouths are.


Peter concludes with, won't you?  And we agree.  Sign the FUPPPS pet-ition today!


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