April 11, 2004: Word has it from our capitol that the Log
Cabin Elephants, the mainly gay male lobbying group within the Republiphants Party, are feeling betrayed, and may be ready to
support the opposition.
a press conference this morning,
President Tusker, the large, handsome fellow with the distinctive
nick in his left ear, announced that it is indeed time for the
group to align itself with the Demodonks. Such a sharp
turnaround is almost unheard of in the political dens of DC. Indeed,
the Log Cabin constituency has been responsible for raising a good
portion of the funds for the incumbent's try for a second term in
office, and in most ways other than the issue of same sex NIPtuals
is solidly behind the administration's views -- on war, for example.
President promised us he would not support a ban on same sex
marriage in the constitution," Eugene Edgar, Press Secretary of the
Log Cabin herd, explained to media. "However, once he saw
states beginning to actually marry folks of the same gender, he
changed his mind. We feel completely hog-tied. The rights
we've struggled so long to obtain appear to be totally unimportant
to him after all, despite his repeated assurances to the contrary.
cannot regret the past," the Press Secretary continued, "and the
fact that we have helped the President in his campaign for
reelection by manifesting mucho bucks. But we can point the deer,
and other members of the Party, in the direction of the Dems, whom
we feel will support our drive for equal rights!"
In elucidating the
benefits of real marriage further, Mayling Pickering, a young lady
chow who recently was admitted into the Log Cabin band added, "We
want the same rights as straights to make medical decisions for a
spouse whose humans want to put him to sleep. Our spider
members want the same rights to hold onto the tuffet and all other
property upon death of their spouse. There are almost a
thousand rights real NIPtuals confer on couples. Civil
ceremonies just don't cut it!"
A final announcement
of the Log Cabin flip-flop is expected within the week. Stay
COMING SOON: Bowser Brothel survey results, and FUPPPS to
tackle sticky wicket of divorce among newly wed gay critters.
FUPPPS Editorial Board