CRITTERS CRY OUT
FOR GAY NIPTUALS
Boston, MA, July 27,
2004: Thousands of ducks, pigeons, cats, dogs and raccoons
lined up outside Democratic Headquarters to pet-ition the delegates
and the presumptive presidential candidate, John Kerry, to protect
their right to wed as same sex couples.
cacophony of sound erupted
as the quacks, barks, meows and hisses
in unison. When the huge tumult finally quieted to a dull
roar, a translator relayed over a microphone the
message: "Let our kind get hitched!"
Martha and Susan
Racketicoon summed up the mood: "We're fed up but we're not
gonna take it anymore!" When asked what they meant, Martha
explained, "We get all these loaves of bread and dog food from the
people whose homes we visit, but they're not supporting us in the
same sex NIPtual issue! We can't understand why, since they're
also complaining about how many more of our mouths they have to
feed. What's wrong with humans, anyway?" A good
As we said in our last editorial,
Scary, Scary Times,
it's imperative that we all get out and tell friends to join the
fight. Let your local and national representatives know you
care about the rights of same sex critters to wed.
And again as we said before, we're not gonna tell you how to vote. That's your choice.
But if you care about rights such as same sex marriage for all,
regardless of species or gender, then we strongly urge you, get out
and vote in November! And tell all your friends how important
it is that their bark be heard!
FUPPPS Editorial Board