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Co-Spokesdog
Travis about to tie the knot with his beloved bride, Raizel. Photo
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We at FUPPPSTM
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Tell a Friend |
 The
Reverend Mr. Bassett Besieged by Military Animals
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FUPPPSYLVANIA, May 9, 2010 It
was the wee hours of the morning when the Rev. Mr. Bassett was
awakened by several loud scratches on his window. Looking out he was
amazed. There stood three of most handsome German Shepherds he had
ever seen in Fupppsylvania.
In the dim moonlight he didn’t
know if he could believe his eyes. The three dogs seemed to be
wearing a uniform of some sort. Opening the door he invited the
strangers in and surveyed them as they entered. Almost in unison
they marched up to him and exclaimed, "We have a problem!"
It seems the trio were all decorated members of the military’s elite
K-9 Corps and now two of them were slated for discharge.
“What happened?” The Reverend inquired.
“Well,” said the leader of the pack, "Herman was seen sniffing
around Gilbert and they were reported for their behavior. Now, under
the military’s 'Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell' policy they have announced to
the world they are gay and must leave the service."
His
jowls dropping more than normal, the Rev. Mr. Bassett said, "But
Secretary of Defense Robert Gates recently announced that the
Pentagon will ease up on its enforcement of the 'Don't Ask, Don't
Tell' policy. He said homosexual behavior will still be against the
rules, but nobody will actively enforce it. You know, kind of like
the ethics regulations in Congress."
Horst spoke for the two
as Herman and Gilbert lay side by side. “Our country is in great
need of their talents.” He went on to say, “These two lads can smell
an IED a half mile away. They have saved many lives.”
Dismayed by what he was hearing, the long-eared sage shook his head.
They discussed the sad situation until daylight. The Rev.
Mr. Bassett led the three brave dogs to the door and promised them
he would do all he could to help bring their plight to light. After
a bit of time, while sitting alone, staring at the American flag
waving on the front lawn, he got an idea. He would ask his
congregation to contact their congressional representatives.
“My friends,” he said to the canines and felines sitting with
paws perched on the pews before him, “if the pentagon and the
President continue to drag their feet denying full freedoms to all,
we need to contact them and have them change the wording of this
vile conspiracy. I urge you to ask all your friends and relatives to
write, fax, e-mail or call Washington and have the 'Don’t Ask, Don’t
Tell' policy changed. Let's make it, 'If you think he's gay, look
away.'"
* * *
PLEASE HELP NATURAL DISASTERS'
DISPLACED AND INJURED CRITTERS!
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