HANG IN, THERE, MASSACHUSETTS!
MA, March 11, 2004: Our roving reporter, Peter da Woof, has just wired in his report from a number of cities in this
ground-breaking state:
Folks, you could cut the tension all
over Massachusetts with a fast tail. Litter-ally millions of
cats, dogs and squirrels have been howling in protest against the
proposed amendment to the State's Constitution that would ban
same sex NIPtuals.
As one distressed young beagle, George Petrie, put it, "I
can't believe the citizens of our progressive state would support
this amendment. It's downright anti-pup in every sense.
Why, my little taquito, Carmelita Chihuahua and I would never be
happy if we had to annul our recent bow vows. Her sweet face
just shone as I lifted her veil to bestow the official nuzzle."
Squirrels have been running up every tree they can
still find, hanging banners proclaiming, "Keep same sex NIPtuals
afoot!"
Out of the dozens of protesters I've interviewed, all
plan to sign the FUPPPS pet-ition as soon as they get back to their
computers. And a few with wireless connections have already
put their paws where their mouths are.
Peter concludes with,
won't you? And we agree. Sign the
FUPPPS pet-ition today!
Approved by the
FUPPPS Editorial Board
