NOAH'S ARK -- THE OFFICIAL EXPLANATION
June 11, 2004: It has
come to our attention recently that it is time to re-examine the age
old question of what really happened on Noah's Ark.
We all know Noah and
his family dutifully selected representatives from a wide variety of
animals, per instructions, in twos, to be saved from the massive
floods the Heavenly Weatherman predicted. What we haven't
known is what factors were considered in making up the pairs?
Who did the actual
inspections to determine the sex of each half of a couple?
How did the inspectors manage to avoid being whomped upside the head
by an angry hoof?
With the sloppy record keeping of the time, it is hard to tell
exactly what transpired in the choosing, and indeed, on the ark.
After all, it's difficult to type with paws on those tiny laptop
computer keyboards. And with no thumbs, the spacebar hardly gets
used except by accident. We all know as well that bicuspids are
notoriously ill-suited to sharpening #2 pencils.
until proven otherwise, we say Noah may have become a man ahead of
his time, willy nilly.
Approved by the FUPPPS Editorial Board