Gorilla out of the Closet Poll Results are in!

FUPPPS Editorial: Gorilla out of the Closet Poll Results are in!

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Van Nuys, CA, April 8, 2004:  FUPPPS Founder, Susan Shumish, reports today that the poll results are in.  In our March 27 editorial, "Gorilla Comes out of the Closet," we asked you, our visitors, to respond to the question:  Should Caesar, the 26 year old gorilla who until now has been childless, be allowed to marry the boy of his dreams? 


Your votes overwhelmingly supported Caesar in his obvious preference for a same sex marriage.  Those saying, "Let Caesar wed the boy" numbered 9,513.  Those saying, "Boy gorillas should only marry girls" numbered just 215.  Those saying, "I'm not sure what's right for humans, let alone gorillas" numbered 82.


By way of quick background, Caesar was living at the Los Angeles Zoo when keepers decided to present him with other ladies they thought might attract him more than the ones in LA were apparently able to do, despite the usual appeal of California Girls. Arrangements were made, and Caesar was shipped to Zoo Atlanta.  When he emerged from quarantine, the former Angeleno was seen walking off arm in arm to the rooms of a new male companion. For more on the story, please visit the March 27 editorial through the link above.


Some of you took the time to write opinions, in addition to taking the poll.  We thank you!  Here is a sampling of interesting letters that we received:


"Let me be the first to congratulate Caesar and his new friend!  To honor their impending vows, I am enclosing photographs of Nathan Lane to hang against their flowered wallpaper.  I do hope the boys enjoy them as much as I have."

"I can't believe how naive the keepers at both the Los Angeles and Atlanta Zoos are.  What is keeping the wool pulled over their eyes?  Don't they understand that when boy meets boy and sparks fly, there is nothing they can do about it?  Or more importantly, that they should do about it?  Everybody needs to get a grip!"


"Of course we know that gorillas are endangered, and making an effort to increase births is to be applauded.  However, boys will be boys.  I am sure other males will make up for Caesar's lack of attraction to females and keep the gene pool going.  In the meantime, no one should force him to mate with a lady when he clearly has other things in mind."


COMING SOON:  Bowser Brothel survey results, and FUPPPS to tackle sticky wicket of divorce among newly wed gay critters.


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